50 Trips Around the Sun
Happy birthday, Bro! Here’s Satan to sing a birthday song just for you:
Hope your 51st trip is the best yet!
I shouldn’t let this opportunity pass without telling a story about Russell. When we were growing up, my younger sister developed a fascination with saying the word “penis.” So, one day we’re all downstairs watching TV; bro would have been about 12 or 13, I was 10 or 11, and Kate was around 7 and her fetish for the word “penis” was already well-developed. Anyway, Kate was disagreeing with Russell about something and finally reached for her trump – calling him a name involving the word “penis.” But she went way, way beyond, going into great detail. “Russell,” she said, “you’re nothing but a big PENIS. You’ve got PENIS legs, and PENIS arms, and a PENIS HEAD!”
Russell, standing on the other side of the room, said nothing. But he started walking towards her, almost like in slo-mo, with his arms slowly pinwheeling. Kate just stood there rooted on the spot, until he got close enough that the pinwheeling arms were striking her on every rotation, as Russell said, “Boy Kate, these PENIS ARMS sure do HURT, don’t they?” At which point of course she started screaming. I, of course, had long since dissolved into helpless laughter.
Anyway, just another birthday memory for you, since I found this, which I think best illustrates Kate’s 7-year-old conception of “Penis Man.”