Home > Uncategorized > I’ll Take “Things Glenn Beck Won’t Be Diagramming on His Blackboard” for $500, Alex

I’ll Take “Things Glenn Beck Won’t Be Diagramming on His Blackboard” for $500, Alex

The Beast called Wisconsin governor Scott Walker and pretended to be billionaire Walker-funder David Koch.  Walker gives his all to please his corporate master:

But wait…there’s more:

…because a mere 10 minutes of evidence of prostitution might not be enough to get the point across.

Just goes to show why maybe all those “liberal elitists” who insist on voting only for candidates who demonstrate competency might be on to something.  When you think it’s important to have smart people representing you, it’s far less likely that they’ll embarrass themselves – and you – by getting PWN3D in a prank phone call.

I realize the bar is set pretty low, but at this moment in time, a mere 6 or 7 weeks into his term, Scott Walker is in the lead for the title of America’s Dumbest Governor.

And context for those of you who haven’t been following this as closely:  the Koch brothers were the second-biggest funders of Walker’s campaign.  More importantly, in the hubbub over Walker’s attack on public employee unions, there’s been a little part of that bill that’s received scant attention.  It’s a provision that allows the state to sell off publicly owned energy plants etc., without competitive bidding, or the review of the state’s public service commission or any other entity.  If the statehouse Republicans decide it’s a good idea to sell off the state’s public property at fire-sale prices to reward cronies who make billions in the energy sector, people like, oh, I don’t know, the Koch brothers, there would be nothing to stand in their way.

If the things that really matter got the attention they deserved in our media, this would be one of the biggest stories of the past several years.  No, not “dumb Republican politician steps on his own dick,” because that, of course, happens with embarrassing regularity.  No, this is more like “dumb Republican politician gives up the goods on the real conservative agenda, on tape.”

I’m wondering how Walker will remain in office after this.  I mean, he basically admitted that busting unions was his stealth agenda all along, so he cut the legs out from under the “will of the voters” argument right up front…but overall, the most damaging thing, more damaging than any of the individual statements, is the back-slapping collegiality of the conversation between Walker and what he believes to be one of his billionaire patrons.  “Bowing and scraping” doesn’t begin to cover it.  A fucking 20-minute conversation?  Are you kidding me?  If it were possible to suck dick over long-distance calls, the only thing we would have heard from the governor was a series of slurps, which would have more concisely conveyed the same meaning – though the call would undoubtedly have been much, much shorter.

Update: I didn’t link The Beast earlier because the site was down – and still is (cue ominous music) but there’s the link for whenever they get it back up and running.

Updated update:  And yes, the Wisconsin governor’s office confirms it’s for reals, and that their guy is indeed America’s Dumbest Governor™.

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  1. February 23, 2011 at 12:04 pm

    Is this for real?

    I saw it on Wonkette, but didn’t know if it was a terrific spoof or not.
    ~

  2. jennofark
    February 23, 2011 at 12:12 pm

    It seems to be. It’s the Beast’s Ian Walker posing as David Koch.

    And update: yes, it’s for reals – see second update above.

  3. B^4
    February 23, 2011 at 1:42 pm

    I really hope that this is a turning point in the national discourse. I also hope that the magnificent cheeseaters freezing their butts off in Madison remember to never sit out a midterm election ever again.

  4. February 23, 2011 at 11:09 pm

    If you’ve ever read the Beast, you’d know that this is mild for them. They are nasty MFs who are fortunately on our side.

  5. February 24, 2011 at 1:56 pm

    Imagine, the scoop of the year, and your site goes down (strangely unsettling violin music)
    At Riddled we are used to it, but it must be annoying for them

  6. Whale Chowder
    February 24, 2011 at 2:15 pm

    I’mma go all contrarian here and say that this isn’t very different from the stunt that asshole O’Keefe pulled on ACORN. If it’s wrong for them to do (and we don’t know how much editing the audio underwent) it’s wrong for us.

    Still, kinda funny.

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