I’m surprised the holiday hasn’t flushed Lyta out into the open. If I recall correctly, growing up this was pretty much our favorite holiday. Halloween was in its heyday back then – everyone went trick-or-treating. These days, not so much. At least in my neck of the woods, the churches have managed to convince a fair number of the bufords that Halloween is “satanic” or something equally stupid. The good news is that this year – on a Sunday night, no less – I saw more trick-or-treaters show up at my door than I have in the past 10 years. I had some last night too, which was the “official” trick-or-treat night, all the better to not offend the overly sensitive who feel that everyone should respect their fee-fees by pretending to believe the same things they do. I’m happy to report that tonight’s crew of ghouls and goblins outnumbered last night’s by a factor of 10 or more. I count that as one more win for sanity.
I would tell you all about Pegleg Pete, who was a ghoul known only to the kids in our suburban neighborhood back in the day, or about the time in college my fellow architect geeks and I destroyed a frat boy’s car with a pumpkin decoy, but the holiday’s almost over and it will have to wait for another time. Instead, in honor of the day, I give you this:
The funniest thing that happened is this – I had a motion-activated talking pumpkin, left over from several years ago at the Hallmark, that looks like this:
When activated, the organ music from above plays, and the friendly fellow says things like, “I hope you enjoyed the music – I decomposed it myself…ahahaha,” “Do you like Halloween? Of CORPSE you do! Ahahaha!,” “Did your mummy dress you like that? Creepy!” and “It looks like you grew some since last year. Yes…GREWSOME!!!” Also, when he talks, his mouth moves.
Anyway, I had set him up on one of the chairs on the porch and aimed him so the motion detector would activate whenever someone came up the porch steps. So I could hear from the living room when someone was coming, even before the bell rang, because that creepy organ music would start up and he’d start talking.
So, last night I’m sitting on the couch reading, and I hear the thing start up. But no one ever rings the bell or knocks. I go look out the door, and here’s these two little kids out at the end of the front walk with their mom. I ask them, were you coming to trick or treat? And their mom says, “that thing started talking and scared them, and they ran down the steps and out to the street!” So I told them it wasn’t anything to be afraid of, but the little one wasn’t having any of it. Finally I said, “if I take him in the house, will you come up to get your candy?” The little kid just nods. Even after I did, when he came up to the porch, his eyes were as big as saucers. I guess it’s fortunate that they didn’t fall going down the steps in their hurry to run away – otherwise I might have had a really scary lawsuit on my hands.
Good thing I didn’t order one of those motion-activated skull heads that flies out from the wall and screams when activated – I admit to being sorely tempted. I always was a fan of playing dirty tricks on Halloween. Just ask Beth and Lyta.