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Posts Tagged ‘Evil clowns’

PERRYPALOOZA!

August 14, 2011 4 comments

Well, it’s official now:  the GOP has the obligatory dumb Texan candidate for the presidency; this one gets bonus points for conspicuously aping the last dumb Texan to run in both diction and physical gesture.

In keeping with my long tradition of trying to help out GOP candidates whenever possible, I’ve put together a few bumperstickers for Mr. Perry:

One that asks, “remember how you felt 4 years ago?”
One to remind people that Perry’s hair is an entity unto itself – and probably a smarter and more competent one than Perry
Another one to remind people of our recent brush with disaster

Expect relentless media fellating of the Texas goober’s record on “job creation”; absent, of course, any mention of the fact that all the jobs created were of the minimum wage variety.  If’n it’s good enough for them heartlanders, by gum, it’s good enough for the rest of us!  Also expect to hear no mention of the fact that, for all of Perry’s appeals for divine intervention to end his state’s drought/improve our economy/etc., the Almighty has turned a cold shoulder.  Yeah, that’s right – God hates Rick Perry, and He’ll hate the rest of us too if we make him president.

 
And we’ll deserve it.

Lord Of The Lies

July 27, 2011 1 comment

If it weren’t for the rapidly-approaching ground, this stupid debt ceiling impasse free-fall we’re in could be quite entertaining, because the cracks are beginning to show.

In what sounds like a “we can do it, yes we can!” pep rally for House Republicans, there’s this oddity reported by the Washington Post:

House Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.), the party’s vote counter, began his talk by showing a clip from the movie, “The Town”, trying to forge a sense of unity among the independent-minded caucus.

One character asks his friend: “I need your help. I can’t tell you what it is. You can never ask me about it later.”

“Whose car are we gonna take,” the character says.

After showing the clip, Rep. Allen West (R-Fla.), one of the most outspoken critics of leadership among the 87 freshmen, stood up to speak, according to GOP aides.

“I’m ready to drive the car,” West replied, surprising many Republicans by giving his full -throated support for the plan.

Then today, there’s this from Politico:

House Republicans 0n Wednesday morning were calling for the firing of Republican Study Committee staffers after they were caught sending e-mails to conservative groups urging them to pressure GOP lawmakers to vote against a debt proposal from Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio).

Infuriated by the e-mails from Paul Teller, the executive director of the RSC, and other staffers, members started chanting “Fire him, fire him!” while Teller stood silently at a closed-door meetings of House Republicans.

“It was an unbelievable moment,” said one GOP insider. “I’ve never seen anything like it.” 

Well, I have … it was this scene:

Or perhaps this one:

In any case, I predict we’ll be here by Saturday at the latest:

That’s Boehner in the role of Piggy; Eric Cantor is portrayed by the kid with the modified jewfro who levers the huge boulder off the cliff, while the other fools on the hill represent the Teabag Caucus.

There’s that old back-handed curse about living in interesting times; I don’t think this qualifies.  I think we’re suffering under the much more pernicious curse of living in stupid times.

Tear The Roof Off The Sucker

July 25, 2011 2 comments

As the saying goes, there’s nothing new under the sun.  While navigating through this Republican-created debt ceiling “crisis”, we find this satisfying example of how our medieval forebears dealt with the political intransigence of the College of Cardinals in selecting a new pope:

They tore the roof off the sucker

Palazzo dei Papi

Located in the attractive Piazza San Lorenzo, the Palazzo dei Papi or Palazzo Papale (Papal Palace) is a striking reminder of this town’s former importance. Built between 1255 and 1267 to house the popes who had sought refuge in Viterbo, its most striking feature is an elegant seven-arched loggia. The small courtyard behind these interlocking arches is also pretty, with a lion-bedecked fountain and views out towards the city walls.

One of the best stories about the Viterbo popes is of an election for the papacy in 1268. 18 cardinals dutifully assembled in the bishop’s palace, but after a year and a half they still hadn’t managed to choose between candidates. The Viterbesi, exasperated, locked the cardinals in their conclave (the word comes from the Latin ‘with key’), reduced them to bread and water rations and even removed the roof of the palace. Eventually the cardinals made their decision, but it had taken nearly three years – the longest ever conclave.

It seems worth a try – just peel back the roof of the House and let them all sit in there and bake until they’re ready to do something.  I’d like to embellish the plan, though, with the option to throw poop on them through the open roof.

Dear Fucking Spammers…

July 20, 2011 4 comments

Have you noticed that none of your bullshit is showing up in the comments? 

Feel free to continue wasting your time.  As for “last one to utilize this,” all you are “utilizing” is our spam filter.

Comcast Sucks! And How This Seemingly Unconnected Fact Relates to Rupert’s Little Problem

July 19, 2011 3 comments

Thanks for the birthday wishes; I would have reciprocated yesterday except for the fact that, for my birthday, Comcast gave me yet another day of non-working internet service.  (It’s gone out in the midst of composing this post, so who knows when I’ll be able to put it up.  Meanwhile, I’m watching the Murdoch Follies on MSNBC.) 

I went through the same crap with them for 2 months last summer, and even though THEY aren’t worried about figuring out the problem, I have figured it out:  their system doesn’t work when the weather gets hot, either as a result of degraded cable or connections somewhere along the line.  Because investing anything into their system to keep it working isn’t part of their budget, though, instead they have things set up to where a customer whose service isn’t working has to 1) call in to report the outage, remaining on hold for an average of 20 minutes per call before speaking to a REAL!  LIVE!  HUMAN!; 2) accept the only option offered – Comcast will “send a tech” out to the house, provided that you agree to sit home and wait for them for the ENTIRE DAY, and 3) if the system is working when said tech shows up, they will do nothing.  When the service goes out again 20 minutes after the tech leaves, you get to repeat steps 1-3 forever, or until the weather cools off and their piece of shit system starts working again.  Because they aren’t going to do anything else to fix it if they can’t locate the problem right there on the lines outside or inside your house.  This is why they insist you have to be home, because “the problem MIGHT BE inside the house.”  Never, since cable has been invented, has the problem for anyone EVER been “inside the house.”  The “inside the house” line is one they use to make it inconvenient to request the service you’re paying for, because who wants to sit home waiting on them all day?

They’ve gotten even craftier in the past year or so about ways to get out of service calls; now they robo-call repeatedly just to “check in” and see if you still want them to come out.  Apparently the hope is that, if your intermittent service happens to be working when you get the call, you’ll cancel the appointment and they won’t have to bother coming out.  They’ll call 3 or 4 times on the same appointment, and if you don’t respond to the call, they’ll CANCEL the appointment – which can leave you sitting at home all day on the appointed date waiting for a tech who never shows up.  I pointed out to them that calling the home phone of someone who has that phone running through their non-working internet connection probably isn’t the best way to verify an appointment.

After a month, I’ve had my fill of this crap.  So, yesterday morning, during the brief window while I could get online, I went and ordered AT&T DSL service.  Don’t know how it will compare with Comcast speed-wise, but if I can access the internet AT ALL during hot weather, it will be an improvement.  Plus, they have a first-12-months deal for $25 per month for 12 mbps download speed, which is going to cut the bill by close to 2/3.  After the first year it will go up by $23 per month, which is still cheaper than Comcast.  But even if it cost more, it would be worth it to never again have to deal with these yutzes.

The sad part of all of this is, imagine that you worked for Comcast and actually WANTED to do a good job of providing service?  I’m not a complete pessimist; I like to believe that most people want to do a good job.  Comcast has their system set up to override whatever helpful impulses their employees may have.  My experience has been that the people on the phone have been nice, when I can reach them; the techs have been polite and have done what the company empowers them to do.  The problem is that the company either doesn’t give any of them leeway to really fix anything, or trains them so poorly that they can’t think of anything to try besides option A, and probably most of them are paid so poorly that a certain discouraged portion can’t be arsed with bothering to try thinking beyond option A.  Whatever way you look at it, it comes down to money and the company’s desire to not spend any of it on service or fixing problems.

How does this relate to Rupert’s Little (but growing) Problem, you ask?  Just this:  there are a large number of companies out there whose business practices would make anyone with the slightest pride in their work or with even a rudimentary conscience ashamed to be associated with them.  I can’t imagine working for an outfit like Comcast, knowing that the company’s policy is to avoid providing service to their customers whenever possible, in return for what they’re charging.  If you’ve ever seen Michael Moore’s film Sicko, you’ll remember the woman who broke down in tears while describing how, in her job for a large health insurer, she would have to field calls from hopeful people she knew would be declined for insurance.  Another testified to Congress about the “incentives” she was offered in return for finding ways for the company to get out of paying for customers’ legitimate covered medical conditions.  We know this stuff goes on in a lot of companies, and that it bothers a lot of the people who work for them. 

Working for a company or person who expects you to daily do things you know are wrong, under threat of termination, can leave deep scars on some people’s psyches.  For others, it just makes them boiling mad.  Either way, you’re going to end up with some folks, maybe quite a few of them, looking and waiting for any opportunity for payback.  In every company that operates more like a criminal enterprise than a legitimate business, there are going to be some malcontent pollyannas – there’s just no way to screen out ALL the moral people when hiring – and quite a few more whose morals may be a bit more flexible, but who will eventually over the course of their employment see some things that, for them, cross the line.

This, I believe, is what is currently going on inside Murdoch’s organization.  I’ve seen a lot of people speculating on what finally caused the “dam-burst” we’re seeing, and I think this explains it:  for years, a lot of people on the inside have been appalled by a lot of what they saw going on.  But the organization was too powerful for them to speak out against it on their own.  Let’s face it - Murdoch owned a good bit of the British establishment and, god willing, it will out that he owns a good deal of ours as well.  (Which is to say, it’s a fair bet that he owns ours as well, whether they succeed in keeping it under wraps or not.  My bet is that it will out before all is said and done.)  So for years, ill-will against Murdoch and Co. had been building, not only among employees and former employees, but also among Murdoch’s targets – politicians, celebrities, and basically everyone they ever smeared or blackmailed into silence.  All that was needed was for a chink in the armor to appear, and there were legions waiting in the wings to pile on.

We can only hope it all unfolds here in the same way.  I’ve heard some speculate that, if it was revealed that News Corp or any of its subsidiaries had hacked the phones of 9/11 victims, that would bring them down.  But even if that’s not proven, we already know that News Corp was in violation of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act, because we know they were paying off police in the UK.  Already some in the US press are rallying to Murdoch’s defense:  according to an op-ed in the Washington Post this weekend, the problem wasn’t in the phone hacking – it was in the law that made phone-hacking illegal.  If the UK didn’t have a law against phone hacking, well then, Murdoch’s organization never would have been “forced” to break the law.  I wish I were making this up; unfortunately I’m not.  It makes one wonder:  have most of them here been doing the same type of thing?  Because otherwise, it’s hard to understand why the Post would trot out this type of weak tea in defense.

In short, we can’t rely on the US media outside of Murdoch’s holdings to either give this the coverage it deserves or to report it in an unbiased way.  I’m sure the Post would claim their concern is all about protecting ”sources.”  But in effect, they’re trying to create a firebreak to protect Murdoch’s US media properties.  Probably our best hope is that The Guardian  will wade into the practices of Murdoch’s US properties.  The story in the UK might well have fizzled out if not for the persistence of the Guardian.

The other thing that makes me quite certain that there’s a lot of bodies buried on this side of the pond as well is the public behavoir of News Corp outlets in the US.  Fox makes no bones about using bullying tactics or observing basic fairness or ethical guidelines; the NY Post has long had a reputation for sleaze, and under Murdoch’s ownership the Wall Street Journal has become much more agressively conservative-fundamentalist, catapulting the most egregious bullshit.  People – or companies – who don’t value truth or fairness or ethics do not learn to value them more simply because they are legislated as legal guidelines, and hence they are more likely to ignore technicalities like the law.  There are no limits, no lines that can’t be crossed in pursuit of advancing the agenda.  We’ve seen those tendencies, on public display, in Murdoch’s US media outlets and it seems unlikely that, while wide-ranging criminality was occuring in a Murdoch-owned UK outlet, Murdoch’s employees on this side of the Atlantic were content to just skate up to the line but not cross it.  It just isn’t a fit with what, it is emerging, has been the culture inside News Corp. 

It’s too early to tell yet what, if any, assistance we will have from the US press in uncovering News Corp malfeasance here in the US.  What we can do, however, is encourage the Department of Justice to pursue an investigation into News Corp activities both here and abroad by demanding it under the auspices of Foreign Corrupt Practices Act.  If you want to be heard, you can send a letter via snail-mail to:

US Department of Justice, 950 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW, Washington DC 20530-0001

Alternately, you can call the Attorney General’s public comment line at 202-353-1555.

There’s an email address as well, but if you want to be heard that’s not an effective way to communicate, so I’ll leave that out.  I’ve already sent my letter and I hope a lot of other people will get on board.

Because what this entire episode teaches us is this:  a big corporation can get away with only as much as its employees and the public will allow.  It doesn’t seem that way when we see so many big crimes go unpunished, but in large part that’s our fault for not throwing a big enough tantrum and demanding investigation, prosecution, or whatever the appropriate remedy is.  A corrupt company can only indulge in corrupt practices for as long as its employees are willing to keep its secrets.  When they begin to reveal those secrets, a tsunami of outrage from the public can insure that the responsible parties are punished.  In testimony today, Rupert himself has sworn up and down that he had no idea there were sleazy things going on in this tiny little 1% of his empire, and that he doesn’t consider himself responsible for it.  It’s fitting then, that public outcry more or less forced him into shuttering News of the World.  Whether he ever admits any responsibility or not, he’s already had to pay for the misconduct, through loss of one property and having to drop his bid for sole control over the UK’s BSkyB satellite network.  That is exactly how this kind of thing should work, and just imagine what salubrious effects could devolve from similar developments here in the US.  It’s been an awful long time since any financially healthy corporation has been forced to shut down due to illegal practices – in fact the only one I can think of is Arthur Andersen, which was killed by the Enron scandal (Enron itself failed due to financial reasons, though these were brought on by illegal practices).  I think it would be a wonderful example for other large multi-nationals. 

But in large part it’s up to us to push for this outcome.  So if you feel the same way about it that I do, let the DoJ know you expect to see some action.  Really, is there any better way to spend your summer vacation?

P.S.  It has come to my attention, via comments from the last post, that somehow B^4′s recent birthday went unremarked here.  For this, our apologies.  Happy Birthday, you Magnificent Bastard, whenever it was!

Freedom’s Just Another Word for Murdering Your Fellow Citizens

July 3, 2011 6 comments

 Well, Jim “the Gateway Dumbfuck” Hoft’s put up his 4th of July post, with the moron-appropriate title of “Celebrating Independence Day – Happy Constitutional Weekend,” as if he seems to think he needs to remind us of how little he knows by conflating the date the Declaration of Independence was signed with the other event, which didn’t occur until over a decade later and not on July 4th.  But I digress – there’s more meat here.

Somehow, I doubt that any of the brave men & women who fought and died for this country had this in mind

Curiously for one who so cherishes freedom and rights, Mr. Hoft doesn’t set much store by the one that’s enumerated just before the one he celebrates in the photo above – which is to say, freedom of speech is less to his liking, particularly when someone is disagreeing with him.  So much so that certain persons are no longer allowed to disagree with him in the hallowed hall of reason which is his blog.  I’ll not quibble with him on that score – as his blog, it is not a public forum and as such, he can make and enforce any rules he likes.  Though it is instructive to see the type of comments he finds perfectly acceptable.  These include the following:

 

#7 July 2, 2011 at 8:04 pm

John03 commented:

Hope there were a few liberals out there.

 #12 July 2, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Ginger commented:

Jim…this is why we love you!

This stands as a warning for you traitors who thinks they are going to take our country down. We are a nation of the strong and the brave.

Muslims go home! Mexicans who votes for the kenyan fraud will only lose their illegal vote and will be shipped back to your home land. If you vote for the kenyan fraud you will only be used! You can see where he is taking our country and it does not include stupid Mexicans.. so wake up!

 #21 July 3, 2011 at 12:11 am

Miss Red White&Blue commented:

There’s nothing hotter than a guy with an AK47! Can’t wait until you get a chance to use it on the libtards ruining this great nation.

#25 July 3, 2011 at 6:56 am

#1AMERICAN commented:

you should have invited odumbass to go with you… :)

#34 July 3, 2011 at 10:30 am

DaMav commented:

that swishing sound you hear in the blogosphere is the background ripple of nervous libtard petticoats…

:-)

 #39 July 3, 2011 at 10:51 am

Carlos commented:

#35
Wave them impotently? I think not.
Wait until the autumn of 2012: Bammy boy foments a crisis, giving him an excuse to declare martial law. We won’t seem impotent then, you libdem troll.

 When the revolution comes in this country, I predict it will look a lot like the one in Cambodia.  Who can imagine any excuse that will suffice for these fine specimens when, upon search of your home, they discover that you have more than 5 books – and none of them are by Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter, or Rush Limbaugh?  About the most we can hope for is that this buck-toothed Buford brigade won’t go full Pol Pot on those who wear prescription lenses, since this sure-fire sign of pointy-headed intelleckshualizm is shared by their Dear Leader.

Let me repeat the conclusion of my Independence Day post from last year, which, because I am lazy but even more because I’ve looked at it again and see nothing I’d like to change I will be re-posting tomorrow:  You cannot love your country while hating your fellow citizens.  A nation is made up of people - not flags, not real estate.  If you hate the people – and Hofttards, you DO – then you hate the country, and you’re no patriots.

Happy Independence Day, you goddamned traitors.

(P.S. – check out the tags!  There’s one there that I originally invented for Fox News, but…it fits the photo so well!)

Update:  Also, too:  kudos to 3ws sometimes-commenter jim for the succinct and fabulous description of the above photo: Voguing On The 4th Of July.

Step Aside, Jimmy Carter…History Has a New Greatest Monster

June 30, 2011 17 comments

Step aside, Jimmy Carter…your many misdeeds, including all those houses you’ve built for Habitat for Humanity and the almost-completed initiative to eradicate the horrifying scourge of the guinea worm have been overshadowed by the malevolent designs of our current president.

This least of God's creatures will soon be extinct, thanks to the evil machinations of Jimmy Carter

President Obama, in a an attempt to show gays & lesbians once and for all how much he hates them, yesterday held an event at the White House to ridicule and demean LGBT Pride Month.  Taunting the assembled activists by refusing to make an unequivocal statement in support of legalizing gay marriage nationwide, the president went on to enumerate his many offenses against the gay community - and how they do add up.  There’s the hate crimes law, named after Matthew Sheppard to diminish and exculpate the suffering he endured at the hands of homophobic bigots.  There’s the executive order Obama issued prohibiting any hospital accepting Medicaid or Medicare funds from keeping gay partners from the bedsides of ill loved ones.  Then there’s the end of the HIV travel ban and the first-ever national strategy for fighting HIV/AIDS.  Last but not least, there are the biggest slaps to the face to the LGBT community – the repeal of DADT and his refusal to order the Justice Department to vigorously defend DOMA.

Clearly, the man is hell-bent on the destruction of our gay and lesbian friends, and must be stopped.  Just watch this clip, and note the hatred emanating from his every pore:

We have no choice but to primary his black ass if he does not give in to our demands to say what we must hear if we are to believe his intentions are anything other than sinister.

I am reminded of this

Ok, enough sarcasm.

 My ass is chapped a bright red today thanks to being lectured on my lack of “morality” and my “bigotry” and my desire to ”blame gays and lesbians” for any electoral loss the president may suffer in 2012 if he comes out in full-throated support for same-sex marriage legalization.  I was given quite the dressing down on how “principles are paramount” and how, apparently, the principles an individual subscribes to can best be gauged by their words rather than their actions.  And you know – it REALLY pissed me off.
 
There’s a faction on the left that doesn’t know how to disagree with people who share their goals, without impugning their motives or morals, when they have a difference of opinion on how best to reach those goals.  Because this discussion took place on someone else’s blog, I restrained myself from responding in kind, instead just asking in the hypothetical, “would it be FAIR for me to assert that YOU are actively trying to derail marriage equality in states like mine for the next several decades with your demands that the president’s words are more important than his actions, and that if he doesn’t say what you want to hear, then he shouldn’t be re-elected?”  Because the simple fact is, same-sex marriage is not going to be legal for a long time to come in places like Arkansas, Texas, Georgia, Alabama, etc. if we don’t secure a majority on the Supreme Court.  You just aren’t going to get a referendum passed in a state that 7 years ago amended its constitution to outlaw gay marriage with a 75% majority vote.  You also aren’t going to get a law through a legislature in a state where opposition is running that high.  The only way equality is going to come to these states any time soon is through a friendly court.  And the only way we’re going to get a friendly court is with a second term for President Obama.
 
So if your insistence is that ONLY a statement of support by the president will suffice, and said statement leads to 1% or 2% of the voters in a place like OH, IN, VA, CO, NC deciding to vote against you or stay home on election day, causing you to lose the state and, as a result, the election, you can kiss the Supreme Court goodbye for the next decade at least - and any chance for marriage equality in most of the red states along with it.  And for what gain?  So you can feel good, or be reassured that your “principles” are being upheld?  Because there’s no gain in the gamble if you win it, but there’s a hell of a lot to lose if you don’t.
 
Perhaps the social climate where some of these folks live is so different that they can’t conceive of an election turning on this one issue.  I’d advise them to think back to 2004, when the Republicans used anti-gay marriage referenda in a number of states to drive turnout and drag their already-a-loser-of-a-president over the finish line.  Demanding that Obama make a supportive statement – right now, this instant - is the same thing as demanding that he hand the Republicans everything they need to get out the vote.  If you’re sitting in the northeast or on the west coast, maybe that’s not that big of a deal to you, because it’s not impossible where you live that your state will address this issue on its own within the next several years, should Republicans re-take the White House.  But it’s a very big deal to your comrades in places where that’s not an option.  Their right to equality comes before your desire to hear pretty words.  This is not the hill upon which anyone should choose to die.  Suck it up, and stop being such assholes to people who are on your side.
 
P.S.  There was one amusing point in the conversation, which came when I demanded that one of the purists tell me HOW she planned to get marriage equality passed in Texas if we lost the election, and with it, the court.  Her plan?  Obama should do “arm-twisting” like LBJ did on the Civil Rights Act.  Yes, that’s right – the plan B was for Obama to go twist the arms of a bunch of reactionary yahoos elected to office by teabaggers, and…voila!!…they would all get on board.  Even though opposition is running at 70% or more in their states.  It’s almost like a twist on the Underpants Gnomes formula:
Step 1:  Twist arms!!!
Step 2:  ????
Step 3:  Victory!!!

It would be funny if the rights of real people weren’t at stake.

Update 7/2:  Ok, this cuts it.  I was willing to overlook all of Obama’s other hateful actions against the gay community, but this…this cuts it:  ”Today, the Department of Justice filed a brief in federal court employee Karen Golinski’s federal court challenge, supporting her lawsuit seeking access to equal health benefits for her wife and arguing strongly that the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional in terms unparalleled in previous administration statements.“  Why won’t Obama just make a big speech about how he supports gay marriage instead of all this pussy-footing around?  HUH?

In Case of Bachmannalia, Break Glass

June 28, 2011 11 comments

Great American, John Wayne Gacy

The clown show that is the Republican race for the nomination continues apace, with many delightful revelations, gaffes, and missteps.  Just a couple of days ago, Michelle Bachmann was in Waterloo, Iowa, talking about how one of her favorite Americans, John Wayne, hailed from the small burg.

 The only problem is, the John Wayne who grew up once lived in Waterloo was John Wayne Gacy, serial murderer and crawlspace-burier of several dozen young men - not the manly he-man actor.  Bonus points:  Gacy liked dressing up as a clown, and did a lot of clown portraits as a prison artist, which ties in nicely with the clown-car vibe that pervades the race.

Throw in Sarah Palin, and you'd have Snowbilly and the Seven Dwarves

Other candidates, other gaffes: man-of-the-people Newt Gingrich was revealed to have a half-million dollar credit line at Tiffany’s, which makes you wonder if he’s working on the replacement for wife #3. Other WIN in the Gingrich campaign: a couple of weeks ago, virtually his entire campaign staff quit, stating that Gingrich’s crafted-by-Madame Tussaud wife, Callista, was stepping all over campaign scheduling by foregoing same in favor of the couple’s grifting events. I guess you have to keep the cash flowing if you want to pay off your credit line at Tiffany’s.

Then there’s Romney, who was presented an origami-folded dollar bill by a young boy as a luck token at a campaign event. Wanting to prevent the visual of a multi-millionaire taking money from a child, Romney went into his wallet to trade another dollar bill to the boy, only to find he had nothing smaller than $100 bills – thereby generating the visual that he’s just like you and me, except he walks around with stacks of hundreds and wears magic underpants. Ironically, Romney’s grotesque wealth and Mormonism aren’t the biggest hurdles he faces; he’s still begging the Republican base to forgive his most successful policy achievement as governor of Massachusetts – universal health care.

Things aren’t much better for the rest of the field. Cain presents as insanely out-of-his-depth (as well as possibly insane); do we really want a man who can’t even make a decent pizza running the show? Ron Paul also comes off loony toons, Pawlenty has already been dismissed as both too wimpy and too white-bread, and newly-announced candidate Jon Huntsman is both dull and wears the magic underwear like Romney. Rounding out the field is Rick Santorum, whose surname has become synonymous with a by-product of anal sex. No candidate is ever going to overcome something like that.

Well, that's ONE possible explanation...

Buzz over the past few weeks is that Bachmann will be the likely winner.  That sounds nuts, because she’s a crazy lady but…really, what is there to choose from in this field?  Republicans can’t risk losing the teabaggers, and Bachmann is their hands-down favorite.

Understandably, the party leadership is shitting its collective pants over this, and has floated the names of various saviors, hoping and praying that someone, anyone, will swoop in and save them from the incipient disaster. 

 Among the straws they’ve grasped at:  Mitch Daniels, current governor of Indiana and former Bush budget director, which uniquely qualifies him to deal with an out-of-control deficit that was largely his design.  Daniels put the kibosh to those hopes weeks ago.  Flavor-the-week Texas governor Rick Perry’s name was floated out there about a week ago, with the usual booshwah about how he has “executive experience” running “one of the largest states in the country.”  Problem is, too many voters have yet to forget the unmitigated disaster that was the last Texas governor elected to the White House.  Also, Perry’s charisma is often put in the shade by that of his hair, Beauregard.  It’s impossible to imagine Perry choosing anyone other than his hair as his running mate, such is the awesome power of The Dry Look.  Stunts such as calling for a day of prayer to deal with his state’s extreme drought do not exactly confidence inspire, either.

More and more, the hopes of the party are coming to rest on their Great White Whale Hope, governor Chris Christie of New Jersey.  Not only have the media adopted the porcine governor as their newest GOP crush, but he also brings to the table that unique combination of girth, hypocrisy, and sociopathy the party has, up until now, only been able to find in combination in the person of Rush Limbaugh.  He’s ultimate Base Man, satisfying the average GOP voter’s desire for arrogant dismissiveness of the electorate and contempt for poor and working people.

Thus far Christie has resisted the siren song urging him to join the race for the nomination.  But with the party facing such grim prospects, he might be convinced to change his mind. 

In the event Christie enters the race, I’ve put together a few campaign posters, just to help him get up to speed and overcome his late entry.  As you know, I’m always happy to help our Republican friends out with creative ideas, and I hope that at least one of these images will be of use to the Christie campaign in creating an iconic theme:

To be honest, I’m not sure which is my favorite.  While the one on the right does a better job of illustrating Christie’s width, I’m really enamored of the Dr. Evil vibe I’m getting from the tux he’s wearing in the one on the left.  Somehow it seems to better symbolize the gluttony that lies at the heart of today’s Republican party.  Let me know which one YOU like best, and feel free to borrow as needed, though a credit is always appreciated.

Here’s to New York

June 26, 2011 2 comments

Everyone has covered this already but I’d just like to add to the chorus of those cheering for a job well done.  Here’s hoping that other states will soon follow suit.  Who knows, Arkansas might even get there in another 10 years or so. 

In tribute, thought I’d post one of my favorite scenes from Angels in America.  We watched it at the beach (though I fear Beth might have preferred to spend those nights playing Scrabble, as much as she enjoyed it) and I was reminded once again of this one particular line, which may be for me the most moving line from anything I’ve ever seen.  It comes at about 3:40 into the clip, and it’s spoken by the 18th-century prior Prior:

Isn’t that great?  There’s something about that line that’s just so…ineffably sad.  For me, I get the same feeling from it that I get from those Nat Geo specials detailing how the earth, solar system, and sun will die.  You know, just a very sad feeling that everything that is and has been will be gone without a trace, with no one to remember it all.  Kind of the ultimate nostalgia.  Sure, it’s billions of years away, but it is sad-making to ponder.

That line isn’t why I chose the clip, though.  I picked this one because I like it best – love the ghosts of the prior Priors, and also, there’s something so very 80′s feeling about the whole dance scene, and I thought it was interesting for that reason given what just happened in New York.  Kind of gets you casting your mind back to where things were then as opposed to now.  What a long, long way things have come in 25 years.

Now, I’m gonna get up on my soapbox about something that’s bugging me.  Friday night, immediately following the news of the vote, Rachel Maddow added “President Obama doesn’t agree with what New York just did.”  And on his show, Bill Maher was talking about how Obama isn’t as progressive as the majority of Americans on this issue, since recent polls show support for legalizing same-sex marriage at around 53%.

This is unhelpful.  First of all, Rachel Maddow is damn well politically savvy enough to know that, had Obama’s position during the campaign been for the M word rather than civil unions, he might well have lost Ohio, North Carolina, Virginia, Indiana, Colorado and probably several more.  Because he did win those states, we now have a repeal of DADT and a justice department that opted not to defend DOMA.  Furthermore, he has done nothing to discourage states from taking action to legalize same-sex marriage, and he has not publicly spoken out against same-sex marriage other than saying “I don’t support it, I support civil unions” during the campaign (and perhaps he’s said it since, but still…).  So I find the “the president does not agree with what New York just did” to be kind of a low blow, actually, and really inappropriate to the joy of the moment.  Ms. Maddow, I am surprised – mostly because I don’t think that you, yourself, really believe that President Obama opposes same-sex marriage.

Then we’ve got Bill Maher knocking him because he’s still not made a statement in support even though a majority of people polled said they were in favor.  Again, Bill Maher is savvy enough to know better.  53% is a majority, true, but it’s not a huge one, and we know that young people are overwhelmingly more supportive of marriage equality than older people are.  We also know that some areas of the country are much more progressive in their attitudes – the northeast, the west coast – so you have to figure that these are big factors in finally pushing sentiment over the hump into majority approval.

The problem is, young people often don’t vote.  So while they might think it was really awesome to hear the president say he supports marriage equality, if his saying so turns some older voters off, it’s a net loss of votes.  Also, you can’t win the presidency with just the northeast and the west coast.  Obama is going to have to be able to pick up a few states in other, more socially-conservative regions to win re-election.  Just hearing Obama say he’s supportive won’t in and of itself change anything vis-a-vis marriage equality – but it could cost him a state or two, enough to throw the election.

If I was Rachel Maddow, I’m sure I would be offended by not having the vocal support of the president, and gays and lesbians have been told “we just have to wait a little longer” for at least the last 20 years.  It has, I’m sure, become very old.

But if the choice is between having the warm & fuzzies because the president said something you wanted to hear him say, and things like DADT repeal, non-defense of DOMA, and steady progress, unmolested by the feds, in the states, the latter is a damn sight better than having a president who wants to propose constitutional amendments spelling out second-class citizenship for our gay and lesbian brethren. 

I think Obama should have his feet held to the fire on this, but not until after the election.  He’s delivered some of the goods already, but we have to be mindful of political realities.  Does anyone on the left really believe that Obama opposes marriage equality?  Because I don’t.  I think it’s political expediency when he says otherwise, and though I’m not a huge fan of political expediency, it exists because sometimes it’s both helpful and needed.  Besides, I’m not sure exactly what he, alone as president, can accomplish on this issue.  Not much, I fear.  As such, I can’t see the point in demanding that he say what we’d like to hear, particularly if it allows someone from the Clown Car Party to win in 2012.

Look Who’s Lying…AGAIN

June 17, 2011 6 comments

Why, it’s our friend Mr. Brooks.

When God put ears on this man's head, he ruined a perfectly good dick

Let’s see what he’s serving up today:  who caused the housing meltdown?  Fannie Mae and brown people.

Seriously, I’m not making this up.  He specifically cites ACORN and the Congressional Black & Hispanic Caucuses, and throws in Barney Frank for good measure.

All of this has been debunked already, so I’m not going to painstakingly go through and debunk it again – you should go read it for yourself.  But before you do, here are the facts you need to know:

1.  Bobo’s lying about the timeline, blaming the housing meltdown on affordable housing policies adopted in the 1990s, none of which stipulated that Fannie Mae was required to pick up more sub-prime loans.   In fact, at the height of the subprime lending orgy, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac’s overall share of sub-prime loans sold into the secondary mortgage market decreased by 50%.

2.  Bobo’s gratuitous swipe at Frank is in reference to a former partner of Frank’s, Herb Moses, who was an executive at Fannie Mae from 1991  – 1998, the year the two amicably separated…well before Fannie Mae became entangled in the subprime meltdown.  But, having already checked the boxes for “poor” and ”brown”, I guess Bobo figured he should check the box for “gay” as well, to make sure all the usual suspects were demonized.

3.  At the height of subprime lending in 2006, private lenders issued 84% of the subprime loans.  That’s individual loans, not dollar amount.  Keep in mind that low-income borrowers take out much smaller loans, and are the borrowers most likely to be offered a subprime loan (again, thanks to having lower incomes).  In that same year, 83% of subprime loans to low and moderate income buyers were made by private lenders.

4.  Is it reasonable to blame the meltdown of the entire financial system on 16 or 17% of the lending activity (actually less than that in dollar terms – see #3 above) in the housing market?  No.  No, it isn’t.  And in fact, those subprime loans that were securitized by Fannie and Freddie – and keep in mind, we’re only talking about 1/6th of them - have featured default rates less than half of the default rate of subprime mortgages issued by private lenders.

Again, Bobo knows all this.  He’s not a stupid man; he’s a huge prick.  I’m just pointing out for the umpteenth time that he’s a lying sack of shit because I have some friends who still cling to a belief that he’s a reasonable person.  I guess that’s possible, if you consider it “reasonable” to pull things out of your ass to support whatever bigoted or reactionary point of view you want to reinforce.  Personally, I don’t think it’s reasonable to cling to and defend ideas that can’t be defended without lying.

If Brooks keeps this up, they’re going to have to build a bigger Dickipedia.

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